hop frog
the flag of our union, 1849
screenplay copyright 2005
savage run digital media, llc
HOP FROG
INT. SOCIAL CLUB. DAY
Hop Frog “walks” in thru front door.
Inside are King and his 7 Buddies.
KING
Good morning Hop Frog!!! Good morning my dwarf joker friend!!!
I never knew anyone so keenly alive to a joke as King was. King seemed to live only for joking. To tell a good story and to tell it well was the surest road to his favor.
King's seven henchmen were big jokers too. Whether people grow fat by joking or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been able to determine but certainly, I can tell you: a lean joker is very rare anywhere in this world. Upon the whole, King liked practical jokes far more than verbal ones.
99 out of one hundred jesters employed by guys like King are fat, round and unwieldy—so it was no small source of pride with King that in Hop Frog he possessed a triplicate treasure in one person.
Hop Frog was not the dwarf's given birth name but rather was given to him by one or more of King's henchmen based on Hop Frog's inability to walk as other men do. He could only get along by a sort of wriggle, a movement that afforded illimitable amusement to King and his Seven Henchmen down at the Social Club.
Because of Hop Frog's crippleness , he could move only with great difficulty along a road or a floor. His arms, however, contained a muscular power conferred upon him by Nature, likely to compensate for the deficiency in the lower limbs. Hop Frog could perform feats of wonderful dexterity as long as climbing was in question, especially if it involved ropes or trees. When climbing something, Hop Frog certainly resembled a squirrel or a monkey much more so than a frog.
No one really knew where Hop Frog came from. I hear it was one of those Russian satellite countries like Romania or Bulgaria . He arrived here with a young girl a few years ago, I hear he and the girl were gifts from a rival family that King had defeated, thereby winning the two as spoil of war. The girl was somewhat less dwarfish than Hop Frog and, man, could she dance. It is no surprise that under these circumstances that a close intimacy developed between the two little captives.
It is near Halloween Hop Frog and we are going to have a big party down here, a masquerade ball for Halloween and you Hop Frog and you Tripetta , your talents will be called into play. Yes? This is one of your specialties, no, Hop Frog? Frog I love your characters, I love your costumes… you are truly the best. Without you, Hop Frog, it would be like it was before—me and my seven ministers would be sitting here all day and night long, twiddling our thumbs. Get to work Hop Frog!!! Make me laugh!!!
INT. SOCIAL CLUB.NIGHT
Tripetta is decorating the club; it looks good.
Everyone was looking forward to the party. I hear the costume shops in town were ravaged and emptied-- all the guests were ready to party. But I heard that King and his henchmen had not decided what sort of costumes to wear. I don't know if their indecision was part of the joke or was just because they were all so fat they had problems fitting into costumes.
INT. SOCIAL CLUB. DAY
King and his henchmen are sitting at the table drinking a lot of wine.
KING
We do not know what sort of cosumes to wear!!! Where is Hop Frog?! Where is Tripetta ?! Summon them!
The bartender buzzes a button on the side of the bar—BUZZZZ….. BUZZZZZ
Hop Frog and Tripetta enter the room after coming up from the basement.
King appears in very ill humor.
Hop Frog looks nervously at the wine and the wine drinkers.
VO: King knew that Hop Frog was not fond of wine; wine excited the poor cripple to madness and madness is no comfortable feeling. But King loved his practical jokes and took pleasure in forcing Hop Frog to drink.
KING
Be merry Frog…merry!!!! Here, Frog (King hands Frog the wine) drink to those friends from your hometown….. swallow this Frog and then let us have the benefit of your invention! We want to be the best characters, characters, man! Something novel and out of the way. We are weary with this everlasting sameness. Come, drink!!! The wine will brighten your wits!!!!
Hop Frog looks at the goblet. Large tears well up in his eyes. We go inside Hop Frog's mind's eye for a few seconds… shadowy old castles, with a number of shadowy “Hop Frog” types swinging form ropes and trees, all having fun. The sounds of a joyful childhood. Hop Frog takes the goblet, some of his tears fall into the wine.
KING
Drink!!! Be merry Hop Frog!!!
Hop Frog drains the goblet, fairly reluctantly at first but then he finishes it.
KING
Ha ha ! See what a glass of good wine can do?! Why, your eyes are shining already.
VO: Poor fellow. His large eyes gleamed, rather than shone for the effect of the wine was more powerful than it was instantaneous.
Hop Frog places the goblet back on the table, tentatively. Hop Frog looks at King and his henchmen with a half insane stare. All of King's men seemed to be highly amused.
PRIME MINISTER
And now… to business!!!
KING
Come, Hop Frog…. Lend us your assistance. Characters my fine fellow, we are in need of some characters… who are we to be for Halloween? All of us are in need of costumes! (KING laughs and so do his seven henchmen)
HOP FROG laughs too, though vacantly and somewhat feebly.
KING
Come ,come Hop Frog have you nothing to suggest?
HOP FROG (fairly bewildered and half intoxicated)
I am endeavoring to think of something, Mr. King.
KING (fiercely)
Endeavoring? Endeavoring? What do you mean by that?! Ahhhh … I know, you are sulky and you want more wine. Here, drink this….
KING pours more wine into the goblet; HOP FROG stares at it and gasps for breath.
Drink, I say or by the fiends!!!
The henchmen all smirked.
TRIPETTA, pale as a corpse, moves over into the on screen space and falls on her knees in front of KING.
TRIPETTA
Please Mr. King, please, don't make him drink… please?
KING looks at Tripetta . He seems at a loss as to what to say or do.
Without saying a word: KING pushes TRIPETTA away and throws the goblet filled with wine in TRIPETTA's face. TRIPETTA rises from her knees and silently moves offscreen again.
Dead silence for some seconds; THEN: a grating sound. A grating sound which seemed to simultaneously come from each part of the room.
KING (angrily and loudly)
What, what what are you making that noise for?
HOP FROG
I? (PAUSE) How could have it been me?
PRIME
I think it was a woodpecker or something like that; I think the sound came from outside.
KING
Okay… but I could have sworn the noise that the noise was the grating of this vagabond's teeth.
HOP FROG laughs and turns away from the men and reveals to the camera a set of large, powerful and very repulsive teeth. HOP FROG walks to KING's table and fills the empty goblet with wine and drinks it down fairly quickly.
HOP FROG
I got it! I CAN'T TELL where I got the idea exactly but just after you threw the wine in the girl's face and that woodpecker was making its noise the idea came to me. We used to do this gag in my country all the time. But here, it will be altogether new. Unfortunately, it requires eight people and…..”
KING (interrupting)
Here we are! What is the gag? My seven compadres and I are ready to go!
HOP FROG
We call it the Eight Chained Apes and I can asure you gentlemen that it really is excellent sport if well enacted!
KING (confidently)
We will enact it alright.
HOP FROG
The beauty of the gag is in the fright that it causes the women! They squeal. I will set you men up with the necessary equipment. The resemblance to the real apes, perhaps escaped from the circus train. The party goers will be as frightened as they are astonished.
KING
This is great! I will make a man of you yet, Hop Frog!
HOP FROG
The chains are to heighten the effect that the eight of you have just escaped from the circus train. Mr. King, you cannot imagine the effect the eight apes have on the crowd until you see it. The eight of you rush in with savage cries amongst all the perfume and the diamonds…. Inimitable!
KING
This… must… happen.
The men rise from the table and begin to execute the scheme.
HOP FROG
Come Tripetta , the party begins in 2 hours, we haven't much time.
HOP FROG and TRIPETTA disappear into the basement.
QUICK FADE:
MONTAGE OF PREPARATION
TAR AND FLAX?
The eight of them are now dressed as apes. HOP FROG wraps the chains around them. After HOP FROG is done, the apes are standing around in a circle.
HOP FROG
The partygoers will think you just escaped from the circus train. This is very accurate; it is how the circus sellers chain the apes they capture in Borneo .
FADE TO BLACK THEN RIGHT BACK UP TO:
INT. SOCIAL CLUB. NIGHT
The party is getting started.
INT. SOCIAL CLUB BASEMENT.NIGHT
HOP FROG is counseling the apes. The apes are all drinking booze heavily; some of them are staggering. It is nine o' clock.
HOP FROG
It is best if you wait until midnight ….
KING (muffled thru the costume mask)
Okay, Frog… okay … whatever you say….
The “apes” continue to drink
MIDNIGHT
The apes make their appearance, slinking and bumbling their way through the door that's been prominently framed in the background. Most of them fall. They get back up. Some people try to run away and they find that the doors are locked. There is momentary terror amongst roughly half the guests. HOP FROG encourages KING and his cohorts to scare as many in the crowd as possible.
The chain which held the chandelier removed by HOP FROG begins to descend toward the floor until it was hanging roughly three and a half feet from the floor. HOP FROG connects the hook to the middle of the apes, where the chains intersected. This connection causes “apes” to tighten in the circle and were now closely bound all were facing each other.
The crowd is realizing that it was all a joke and were now relaxed again; the panic had subsided. Some were pointing and laughing at the apes. The apes were laughing too, guffawing so hard they were starting to look like apes, the way their arms move as they laugh .. Then the lights went out; a WOMAN shrieks; the lights come back on momentarily, then flicker off. The room is somewhat lit even in the dark by the torch hanging on the wall.
Silence. Then a snicker.
HOP FROG
Leave them to me!!!
HOP FROG calms down.
Leave them to me… I fancy I know them. If I can only get a good look at him, I shall soon find out who they are.
Everyone was laughing now, including the apes. HOP FROG whistles shrilly. The chain flies up about 30 feet, dragging with it the dismayed and struggling apes. HOP FROG flew up with the chain and was still few feet above the apes and is still continuing to thrust the torch downward toward the apes, as though endeavoring to discover who they were.
Dead silence. Silence is broken by a harsh, low grating sound.
CU: HOP FROG grinding his teeth and foaming at the mouth; he glared with an expression of maniacal rage into the upturned eyes of KING and his men.
HOP FROG
Ah, ha! Ah, ha. I begin to see who these people are now!!!
HOP FROG touches the torch to KING's costume and it bursts into flames immediately. All eight apes were now screaming and squirming. The crowd was shrieking and helpless to do anything. HOP FROG was forced to climb higher on the chains as the flames rose. HOP FROG hangs from the chain and begins his speech:
HOP FROG
I now see distinctly! What manner of people these maskers are! It is the great Johnny King and his seven henchmen! King is man who does not worry about striking a defenseless girl and his henchmen abet him in this outrage.
As for myself, I am Hop Frog the Jester! And this—is my last jest!!!!
HOP FROG throws his torch downward, it hits the blackened, fetid, hideous and now indistinguishable mass and falls downward. HOP FROG climbs leisurely upward thru the skylight.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE SOCIAL CLUB. NIGHT
SLO MO: HOP FROG and TRIPETTA SILENTLY RUNNING AWAY FROM THE CLUB AND INTO THE WOODS.
VO: it is supposed that Trippetta was the person stationed on the roof pulling the chains at Hop Frog's command and they escaped back to their own country as neither has been seen again.